"Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night"

This space is dedicated to Adventure - and all things Challenging.

Name:
Location: Waukegan, Illinois, United States

Saturday, June 18, 2005

O.C.D.

Lately I have been overwhelmed by my O.C.D. (obsessive compulsive disorder). For some reason my Africa luggage has taken over my brain. From the time I wake up in the morning - till the time I go to bed at night - I am worrying that I have packed too much shit. Do I really need that extra T-shirt? How much will the airlines let me get away with - without charging me my first born? The problem with the whole thing is that I don't realistically know what I'll need. True, the Peace Corps has given me a packing list - which I followed to the letter for Morocco (and got screwed when it snowed in the mountains). So this time for Benin - I am greatly mistrustful of PC packing lists. I keep thinking of all the "what if's," and then I'll run to Harp's or Target and buy rope, or duct tape, or gas-x. I'm also really bad about guessing my luggage's actual weight. I'll lift it up and it'll feel really heavy, but if I try to roll it around the living room it doesn't feel that heavy. One night/morning around 2am, I got the brilliant idea to take my luggage to the airport and have them weight it, but halfway there I decided that I was crossing a crazy line - and that I should rein myself in. So, I had my mom bring her big scales home from work. I haven't taken the opportunity yet to weigh everything - mostly because I know once I start it will be a long ordeal - but that in it self is encouraging because I'm able to wait a bit. All I know is that I truly don't like to be uncomfortable or go without (which probably makes Peace Corps not such a great idea), and I constantly feel my mother creeping into my subconscious ("I told you to bring your sweater").

Yeah well - I guess I'll just have to do what I always do - cry at the airport and hope for the best.

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